Fiona was up all the earlier in the morning, starting on a workout even before Abigail came to meet her. Her interaction with Dirk left her on edge, unsettled in a way she had not been in a while. 

     It showed itself through the morning routine of exercises. She wasn't terribly off, but there were missed marks here, stumbles there, all of them getting sharp rebukes from Abigail. The criticism only pushed her further into the realm of anger and frustration. Finally, by about midday, things came to a head. 

     They were exercising in the mech bay, using one of the static lines of coolant as a rope to climb arm over arm when she lost her grip and fell a few meters to the deck below. Abigail dropped down beside her. 

     "Stravag! What is wrong with you today, surat? That was pathetic" Abigail barked. 

     "Sorry. Nothing is wrong, I just slipped."

     Abigail waived her hand dismissing the response. "I am not like the freebirth bondsmen you associate with in your off hours. Something is wrong, you will tell me now."

     Fiona stood and put her hands on her hips. "I am fine. Whatever is going on in my life is none of your business."

     Abigail walked closer to her, getting right up in her face. "Freebirth, do not forget your place. You are a bondsman, you have no privacy, no independence,  no freedom. Not from your clan, not from your bondholder, and not from me. You will tell me what is going on, now!"

     Anger now boiled inside her. She reacted, shoving Abigail away and turning with a huff. "Back off!"

     Abigail grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. Fiona could see the rage in her eyes as well, her voice low but fierce. "I will give you one chance at surkai, surat. Apologize for striking me and tell me what has you flustered, or I will see you in a circle of equals and give you a thrashing."

     "Do what you must, I am in no mood for your posturing today"

     Abigail shook her head derisively. "You are so foolish, an eyas barely out of the nest. Our circle will be here and now, unaugmented. When I win, you will tell me everything."

    Fiona glowered. "And when I win, you will drop the matter."

     Abigail grinned. "Bargained well and done, surat."

     The two squared off immediately, neither making a move at first. Fiona stayed in a neutral stance, trying to draw on her hand to hand combat training in her early years at Robinson Battle Academy. Abigail waited a few seconds before throwing a taunt at Fiona. "You were quick to shove me away, eyas, but not so eager now, are you?"

     She knew she should not respond, but she did, lunging forward to try to strike a blow at the cleaner's head. Abigail easily deflected the blow, as well as several attempts after that. Quickly losing patience, the next time Fiona struck, Abigail reacted quickly, seizing her wrist, twisting her around and throwing her painfully to the ground. 

     Unphased, Fiona leapt to her feet and rushed back directly at the trueborn. Abigail dove to the side, kicking Fiona's leg out from under her, sending her tumbling to the deck again. This time, Abigail wasted no time and gave Fiona no time to reset. She pounced on her, smacking her across the face and then driving her knee down into Fiona's chest and knocking the wind out of her. 

     She knelt over Fiona as she gasped for air, staring with fury into her eyes. "You may have come a long way, surat, but you are light years from being able to best me in a circle of equals. Submit, now! This is over."

     Even as she fought to get air back into her lungs, Fiona stared defiantly at the clanner. She knew she was beaten. She probably knew that before she even started, but it hadn't mattered. Finally she closed her eyes briefly and nodded, tapping out and signaling her defeat. 

     After a few seconds to recover, Abigail helped her to her feet. She noted a small gathering of techs and a few warriors in the background who had come to witness the scuffle once it broke out. Abigail glanced around at the crowd, then grabbed Fiona by the arm and signaled her to come along with her. "Come with me, surat, there is no need to further embarrass yourself here. We will tall somewhere more private."

     She led her down several levels to near one of the main airlocks which attached to a jump ship during docking. There was a side corridor with a large view port looking outwards to space. She gestured for Fiona to sit, and she sat down beside her. 

     "Now. You will tell me what has you so bothered that your performance slipped."

     Fiona closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Yesterday, when we came aboard the dropship, I met someone I recognized among the other bondsmen. His name is Dirk Masterton, we both served in the Ivarsson Chasseurs. We kind of had a fling when I joined the unit, nothing serious, just fun, and it fizzled out on it's own in good terms. "

     Abigail interjected. "His name is now bondsman Dirk. Just as yours is bondsman Fiona. Do not forget that, surat."

     Fiona nodded. "Ok, Dirk. So, we caught up, exchanged stories, then went about our day. Then in the evening, after we ate rations, he and I...well, we hooked up. It was nothing, again, just blowing off steam and not feeling alone, you know."

     Abigail nodded thoughtfully. "So the two of you coupled, quiaff? What is wrong, was it unsatisfactory?"

     Fiona looked over at Abigail and chuckled slightly. "No the sex was..well it was good. And what do you mean, "coupled", I don't know what that term means."

     Abigail shrugged "Coupling is...coupling. Sexual activity between partners. Normally between sibkin or people of the same caste, but not always. Sharing pleasure, releasing stress and urges. What would you call it in the Inner Sphere?"

     "I do not know, sex, fucking, whatever. I mean it's not always casual like you make it out to be, but it was with me and Dirk. It's just there's usually more emotion or whatever attached to it for most people."

     Abigail shook her head. "There is no need for complicated emotional attachments, that is for freebirths and the lower castes where procreation is random. With warriors procreation and sex do not meet. Procreation is foul and disgusting, it serves no need but to fill the lower castes with chattel for menial tasks."

     Fiona shrugged dismissively. "I guess that makes sense. But its beside the point. The sex with Dirk was not the problem. The problem came after. We were in that post-sex haze where you just kind of ramble on and let your mind go. That was when he asked me what I was training so hard for. When I told him, it didn't go over well."

      Abigail gave her a curious look. "What do you mean? Why would he not approve?"

      Fiona ran her fingers through her hair nervously. "Not everyone is accepting of their fate as bondsmen. He talked of thinking about things like escape or freedom, as if we were still in the AFFC."

    Abigail frowned. "And this got you thinking about them also, quiaff? That is why you were distracted."

     Fiona locked eyes with the clanner. "Neg. I know the path I am on. I know where I am going and what I will achieve. I just...I don't know, I guess I was excited to have someone else that understood the path I was on. His reaction, I don't know, it just hit home on the fact that I am in this alone. To the other bondsmen, I am a turncoat or something, and to everyone else, I am not a real Jade Falcon."

     Abigail remained silent for a moment. Fiona braced herself for a dressing down for her emotional failures. "Surat, understand that even if you become a warrior, there are some that will always see you as abtakha. But that will fade, or at the very least you can beat it out of them. I cannot speak for the other bondsmen. Your Inner Sphere ways are strange to us. In three hundred years, we have grown while you have stagnated. But I have, grudgingly, come to see that you have the heart of a warrior. Neg, do not interrupt. I still doubt you will succeed, the odds against you are too great. But display your warrior heart and there are those who will recognize it and accept it. You will find in their company that you are not alone among warriors."

     Fiona smiled slightly. "Does that include you?"

     Abigail punched her on the shoulder. "Enough talk, surat. Come with me. I will show you something that will distract you from pining over freebirth bondsmen."