Meet Jason...

     Identity is a strange thing, and I've been struggling with it these past few years. But thankfully, I'm getting a grip on things, and it's time to put everything together in one place. It's time to define who I am so that I can move forward in a positive way.

    I'm Jason. Some of you know me as Ace Kaller (My writing persona) and others know me as House Master Po Ding (My gaming persona). They're all one person. It's getting confusing to keep the two separate, and so the time has come to merge everything together. 

    Ace Kaller was supposed to be me, but instead, Ace turned out to be me trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be. I kept trying to be what people wanted, and in doing so, kept losing track of myself.

    Po Ding was my gaming persona, and the one where I could freely be myself. I didn't have to lie about who or what I was, a non-binary masculine presenting member of the Battletech community. I could freely go out on voice chat and not worry about what people would think of me, I could talk about my life, my real life, and be accepted for it.

    And so the time has come to phase out Ace. I don't need Ace anymore. I can be Jason, gaming as House Master Po Ding. Po Ding is about balance, and I've finally found that balance. I hope that people will accept me for who I am, for who I truly am, and that I can finally begin the long process of repairing my image in the Battletech Community and the many relationships that have been damaged over time as I've struggled with my identity.

I'm still trying...

     Hello again to everyone. I'm not sure where this post will end up going, just that I need to write it and get it out. I'm struggling with something, poised on a precipice if you will, but I don't know if it's on the verge of something great or just another failure. 

    The issue of my identity has haunted me for years. I've struggled with it, lied about it, fought with it, and I still end up back at the same place. Thankfully, with the help of a great mental health team, I've been able to get a better grasp of who I am, and be more comfortable with who I am within myself.

    Unfortunately, that hasn't translated well online. I've put "Faith" in the past, and I tried to rebrand myself as "Ace", but unfortunately, I ended up making Ace what I thought people wanted instead of who I truly am. And that just doesn't work. It hasn't worked, and it isn't going to work. I deserve better, and you all deserve better as well. I deserve to be myself, and you deserve to get the real me.

    Fortunately, however, I started branching out into other areas online, and I found that I could be myself and actually be accepted for who I am. And I have been. I've made some great connections and been able to be authentic while doing so. I'm in a happy place.

    Everywhere except the Battletech community. In the Battletech community, I've clung to the idea of Ace as what I thought everyone wanted out of me, and in doing so, I wasn't what anyone actually wanted or deserved. I haven't been,

    But I want to change that. I want to just be myself, as myself, in the community of the game that I love. I'm just not sure how to do that yet. I'm trying. I'm struggling. I'm failing. But I'm still trying...

 Hello everyone! I have recently run afoul of Blaine Lee Pardoe in court once again, where he is seeking to extend his protective order against me. If you have ever supported me against Blaine in this fight, I am urging you to donate to my legal defense fund to help defray the costs of fighting against his white male privilege in court. Pleaser consider donating at the following link!

Ace Kaller's Legal Defense Fund Click here!!!! Every little bit helps in this fight against Blaine and his lies!!!!

https://gofund.me/b4bdb6de

A new fight

Cathay    

Solaris City

Solaris VII

4 May 3061 

                    After a few uneventful days, Lin Ming was summoned to the headquarters of Red Dragon Corp. She made her way to Teng Shen's office. Though it was the same office, decorated in traditional Liao style, it somehow now seemed more foreboding and dangerous, now that she knew what the stakes of the game were.

                    "Great news, Lin. We have another fight scheduled to test out the project. This fight will also be in the Hartford Gardens arena. This time, however, your opponent will be an Atlas. This fight is billed as a David vs. Goliath fight. It will test the extremes of the stealth system, but we feel it is a great opportunity to test the system in something close to practical fighting."

                    Lin's eyes grew wide. "I'm supposed to take on an Atlas in an Urbanmech?"

                    Shen nodded. "You will have the advantage of stealth, as well as speed over the Atlas. We aren't interested so much in winning as seeing how the system performs against a larger opponent. A victory, of course, would be icing on the cake, but we are not expecting you to win this one. This is more of a trial than anything else. I'm sure you will put up a good fight.

                    "I shall endeavor to do my best. I trust I have some time to practice for this bout?"

                    Shen held up three fingers. "The fight is not for three days, so yes, you will have ample time to practice and train on the mech. I would use the time wisely, not fritter it away in the Black Hills."

                    Her eyes narrowed. "You've been tracking me?"

                    Shen shook his head. "Not so much tracking as keeping an eye out. You are a Solaris gladiator now, your presence is noteworthy in many places. I would just suggest that you stay closer to home, to better prepare for the fight."

                    "I shall. Thank you. Is there anything else?"

                    "There will be a great deal of scrutiny on this fight, it is much higher billed than your previous fights. Make sure to keep things close to the vest, we don't want any hints getting out as to the nature of the project. I'm sure you can handle it."

                    "I will try my best.. Thank you."

 

In For a Pound...

International Zone

Solaris City

Solaris VII

1 May 3061 

                Lin Ming let Nicky lead her to a gun shop in the international quarter where there were a vast selection of firearms on display. She made her way to the handgun case, and perused the selections on display.

                    Nicky picked out a solid autopistol and handed it to Lin. "Sternsnacht Python. It's a solid pistol, twelve round mag, shoots a forty cal round. Lots of stopping power, not too much recoil or anything like that. Forty cal is what we shoot on the SCPD."

                    "It's street legal in the city?"

                    Nicky nodded. "Once we get your permit squared away, yes. It's not the easiest thing to get here in the city, but with your background and my vouching for you, it shouldn't be a problem."

                    Lin filled out the appropriate paperwork, and paid in cash for the weapon and 200 rounds, along with a holster. Nicky co-signed on the paperwork to expedite the sale. With the sale made, they made their way back to Lin's apartment. Once they were settled in and the door locked, both of them relaxed for the moment.

                    "I'd offer you a drink, but I feel like we should be on our best guard tonight"

                    Nicky nodded. "You've got that right. I'm still nervous about everything, but we're as safe as we can be."

                    "Everything is locked up. You want something soft to drink?"

                    "Coffee if you've got it. I'm all jazzed up for the night, doubt I'll get any sleep."

                     "I've only got instant. No coffeemaker or anything, sorry"

                    "No need to apologize. It's an acquired taste. Mostly a cop thing. Got to be awake on a moment's notice most days"

                    "Thank you for doing this. I know it's a bit off your regular beat."

                    Nicky shrugged. "Not really. Lots of chaos going on when you get down to it. This is just a bump in the road. Doing my best to solve a case, you know."

                    She understood, but didn't quite buy the line. Maybe it was just personal pride, but she felt like this case meant something more to Nicky, and it certainly meant something more to her. 

                    "How did you get saddled with this case, anyhow? I thought Cathay PD would have handled the murder?"

                    Nicky sighed. "Ordinarily they would, but the victim was a Gladiator, so they pawned it off on us. I don't think they wanted any part of it, and I'm starting to see why. Lots of entanglements means lots of paperwork in the end."

                    "Sorry."

                    "Don't be. We'd have never met if they hadn't dropped the case in my lap. And I'm glad we met."

                    Lin sat down on the sofa beside Nicky. "So am I, for what it's worth. Never thought I'd be friends with a cop when I came to Solaris. Rubbing elbows in important circles, the glitz, the glamor, not gonna lie, it was all in my mind. But not dealing with the police."

                    Nicky put her arm around Lin and snuggled her close. "Sorry to disappoint."

                    "No, it's not like that."

                    Nicky smiled. "I know, I was only teasing. For what it's worth, you're not the typical mechjock story. I never really thought I'd be involved with the games at all, I was just trying to make life better for the good citizens of Solaris City"

                    Lin snuggled into Nicky. " You are. Just not the way you thought. You've saved my bacon, I owe you one."

                    "Yeah, well lets keep that tab open and keep you safe. All you can do now is wait for word from Drake. I hate waiting, but it's  the only game in town."

                    They didn't have to wait for long. They fell asleep on the couch, and when they awoke, another mysterious letter was slipped under the door. Another date, time, and location, again in the Black Hills.

                    "Be careful heading to the Black Hills so often. Your employer might get suspicious."

                    Lin ran her hand through her black hair. "You think they're tailing me?"

                    "Maybe not your every move, but I'd bet they're tracking your banking files. I wouldn't be surprised if they know and ask about the gun purchase, to be honest."

                    "I'll be careful."

                    With that, she headed off for her meeting with Drake. This time the meetup was at a cozy family restaurant. The food was cheap, and surprisingly good, and she was halfway through her meal when Drake arrived. 

                    "The first phase went well. We've got a good look at their network."

                    Lin shook her head. "I got a tech killed. They discovered the breach, but didn't know it was me."

                    "I hope you see now that your employer is playing for keeps. This is dangerous work. You sure you're up to continue it?"

                    Lin nodded. "I'm in it now. But I'll need some security."

                    Drake raised an eyebrow. "Beyond that gun that you're packing now?"

                    She smiled at him. "Look, I'm involved with some very dangerous people. And I don't count you out of that either. I need to know that I'm safe when all this goes down. I assume you're going to ask for more?"

                    "You're very bright. We know where to look now for the data we're looking for. It's only kept on encrypted drives at Red Dragon central. This is a much tighter job. I've got another cloner for you to use, but it will have to be plugged in to one of the computers directly related to the project. You're going to have to find a way to get access, and it won't be easy. I can't tell you how to do it, you'll have to figure it out on your own."

                    "If I do this, I'm really sticking my neck out. What's in it for me?"

                    "A hundred thousand C-bills. Plus we can get you a more prominent gig. Get you more in the spotlight, making you harder to remove for the other side. "

                    "Better fights? How can you fix all of this?"

                    "We have influences all through the city. Our reach is considerable."

                    "Who is we? I need to know who I'm sticking my neck out for."

                    "Let's just say we have Davion interests at heart. The Federated Suns needs access to this stealth technology to counter whatever Liao is planning to do with it. The NAIS will want to keep apprised of whatever Ceres Arms brings to the battlefield. That's the game here."

                    She hadn't considered the greater geopolitical ramifications of what she was doing up until now. Things were all corporate, but now state actors were involved, and the play she was making was not for her native state. This would mean turning her back on the Confederation and putting in with the Davions. It likely meant she could never return home to Alterra. Solaris would have to be her new home. Was that what she wanted? Wasn't that what she had come here for?

                    "Ok. Give me the drive. I will find a way to get what you need."

                    "Thank you. And be careful. You saw what happened to the last data breach at Red Dragon. We'll protect you as best we can, but there's a lot of danger in the short term."

                    "I'll keep my head down."

                     

                      

Crazy Real Fast

Cathay

Solaris City

Solaris VII

30 April 3061 

                    Two days later, Ling Ming received a message to come in to Red Dragon headquarters. She nervously made her way to the headquarters building. Was this just routine, or had someone found out about her intrusion into the computer network.

                    She found herself in Teng Shen's office. "I have some disturbing news."

                    Her pulse raced faster. She tried to not let on any of her nervousness. 

                    "There has been a data breach in our system. One of the techs copied some files that he was not supposed to. We have no way of knowing how far his treachery has gone. I wanted to warn you that any of your personal files that we have stored here might have been uncovered in this breach."

                    She tried to play things calmly. Apparently the breach had been uncovered, but was attributed to Daniel for the time being.  "What does that mean?"

                    Shen's face gave away little emotion. "Most likely nothing. Most of the data is publicly available anyway as you are a Solaris competitor, but you might wish to keep a close eye on your banking accounts to make sure nothing untoward happens."

                    "I understand. Thank you for the warning. May I ask, where do we go from here on the project?"

                    "We have another fight scheduled for next week. I am going to make every effort to ensure that this data breach does not interfere with that. We will obviously have to do some internal security buffs, but I don't think they should impact on your training in any way."

                    "That's good. I hope to get several practice runs in during the week before the fight, if that's ok?"

                    Shen nodded. "It will have to pass the new security measures, but I think we should be able to accommodate your schedule. In the meantime, be cautious. This breach was perpetrated at the behest of some bad actors out there. While I don't think your safety is at risk, I would nonetheless stay cautious."

                    "I agree."

                    With that, Shen dismissed her, and she made her way out of the building. Her heart had been racing the entire time. Things were getting dangerous now. As soon as she was reasonably clear of the building, she fired a text to Nicky explaining the situation. Nicky suggested a meet up, and they planned it for later that afternoon.

                    Lin nervously made her way back to her apartment. Several times, she felt as though she was being watched. She knew it was most likely idle paranoia, but she could not shake the feeling. It gnawed at her the entire time up until her meting in the Black Hills with Nicky.

  Black Hills  

Solaris City

Solaris VII

30 April 3061

                    When she met Nicky at their usual rendezvous, she could tell immediately that something was wrong. It was written all over Nicky's face. "Why do I get the sense that there is some bad news coming?"

                    Nicky pulled up an image on her tablet and spun it around so that Lin could see. "Very bad news. When you texted me about them thinking that it was one of the techs that did it, I put a couple of feelers out. This is what they turned up. One Daniel Lange, found murdered down in Cathay. I couldn't get many details from the Cathay PD without explaining why I was interested, but I got enough to know that this is bad news. This puts everything in an whole new light. It almost certainly verifies Drake's insinuation that Red Dragon was behind the murder. Your employer is playing for keeps here.

                    Lin took a deep breath. "What do I do now? I'm in bed with whoever Drake is working for, they'll want more, but we now know that Red Dragon is playing hardball."

                    Nicky took Lin's hand in hers. "Look, this is dangerous territory. You have to decide which side of the fence you're going to play with. If you stick with Drake's play, you know that Red Dragon will be breathing down your neck. The safest thing is to just call the whole thing off, don't do anything more for Drake, and play it clean."

                    Lin shook her head. "And go on knowing that my boss is a killer? I don't like those odds either. What are the options if I stick with Drake's play?"

                    Nicky thought long and hard before responding. "Honestly, it's a big unknown. It all depends on who Drake is actually working for. I ran his file and yeah, he comes up as Black Hills PD, but there's no way that they are running this show. He's got ties to something bigger. That might offer some degree of protection, but again, you don't know who you're getting into bed with. Ideally, if we can get some evidence linking Red Dragon to Avellar's murder, I can make a case and get them shut down. But we don't know who is backing them. Is it just Ceres Arms corporate, or do they have some criminal underworld dealings involved? I just don't know."  

                    "I got that poor tech murdered too."

                    Nicky shook her head. "That's not on you, it's on Red Dragon. That's a Cathay PD case, but if we can get some evidence, and link the two murders, it would be that much the better for taking Red Dragon down. You also have to realize that this is entering very dangerous territory. We've got two murders that we know of. They're bound to start watching you more closely, especially if anything else goes wrong. Are you up for taking care of yourself? You don't have a gun registered in the database, so I assume that means you're not carrying. Tell me if I'm wrong."

                    Lin shook her head. "You're not wrong, I don't have a firearm."

                    "I can help with that, I can push through the paperwork. I know your background is military, are you comfortable carrying a gun on the city streets?"

                    Lin nodded. "I can handle a gun. I just never thought I would have to here on Solaris."

                    "Trust me, I wish you didn't have to, but we are dealing with some pretty nasty people here. I would get yourself armed as soon as possible. How trained are you on counter-surveillance?"

                    "Not at all. I took basic infantry courses, but that was about it."

                    "Okay. Well you'll have to keep a heightened eye out for people tailing you. Don't confront any of them, but you need to be aware. Maybe it's Red Dragon that puts a tail on you, maybe it's Drake's people, maybe it's someone else. You have to be aware. You understand?"

                    "Yeah, I've got it. This is all so crazy."

                    "I know it is, but we'll get through it. We'll get you set up good, but in the meantime, do you mind if I crash at your place? It will be safer, and I'll feel a hell of a lot better keeping an eye on you until we get things sorted."

                    Lin nodded. "Yeah, that's fine. It's great, in fact. It will put my mind at ease as well. This whole thing got crazy real fast."   

                    

In for a Penny...

Cathay    

Solaris City

Solaris VII

27 April 3061 

                    Lin Ming arranged to visit the building that Red Dragon Corp used a few days later. She went in under the guise of a meeting with Teng Shen to discuss her future, but this was merely a smokescreen. Her Meeting with Shen went off uneventfully, and she now found herself alone wandering the corridors of the small corporate building.

                    She wasn't sure exactly how she was to go about getting the clone of the system. She couldn't simply walk up to a computer and plug the drive in, that would attract attention. She needed some kind of cover for the up to five minutes that the device would take. On a whim, she decided to walk into the main lab.

                    There were several computer inputs where she could insert the drive, but she needed some kind of cover. There were half a dozen techs working at various purposes, so she picked one at random and approached. 

                    "Excuse me, perhaps you could help me?"

                    The tech was a middle aged man, of average height and build. His clothing looked a bit ruffled. "Of course. You're the MechWarrior test pilot, right?"

                    She smiled. "Yes. I was kind of hoping to review some footage of the last bout, maybe check on a few things and clean up my game. Do you guys have the footage stored here?"

                    "Yes, of course. Come here, I will show you. My name is Daniel, by the way"

                    "Pleased to meet you, Daniel. I'm sorry if this is taking you away from your normal work."

                    Daniel smiled sheepishly. "No, it is no bother. We don't get to interact with you folks much, it is refreshing. I am happy to help."

                    As she spoke with Daniel about the footage, she did her best to surreptitiously insert the thumb drive into an access port. She was hoping that his focus would be on her, the MechWarrior, and he would not notice. With the drive inserted, all she had to do now was wait. There was a small indicator light that would pulse when the job had been completed.

                    "Thank you for this. I was wondering, this part here, where I disengaged the system, how long does it take for the Urbie's normal heat sinking to come into play?"

                    "It's virtually instantaneous. Of course it depends on how much waste heat you had built up, but the system comes online right away to start clearing it. Toggling the system is the key to maximizing performance. But of course you already know that, you won the fight. Congratulations, by the way! The entire team was really proud of your performance."

                    She glanced at the drive. The indicator light was still dark. She needed more time. "Thanks, but I didn't just make it up on the fly. We had a great team of coaches and techs working all the angles beforehand. We had a good game plan. I just executed it."

                    "Still, it was a great performance. We are lucky to have you."

                    "No, I'm the lucky one. This job is a dream come true. I was about to give up on my dreams of being a Solaris gladiator when this opportunity came up. Slots fighting in the games don't come easy, especially with a corporate backer. I just chanced on it. I'm really happy though."

                    She glanced down at the drive, and the indicator light was now lit. She made a point about something in the fight to Daniel, and he was immediately enraptured with her telling of the tale. She took the opportunity to remove the drive and slip it into her pocket.

                    "Well, I better be going. I've taken up enough of your time. Thank you for all your help, Daniel." She said with a disarming smile. 

                    "It was my pleasure. You can come hang around here any time you know, right?"

                    "Maybe I just will. See ya Daniel."

                    With that, her pulse racing, she made her way out of the lab, and quietly exited the facility. Now she had only to wait. Drake had set up a drop-off for the drive, that wasn't until tomorrow. Things were now in motion.

                    Later that night, she met up with Nicky, and the two exchanged stories of what had ben going on. Things were heating up.

 Black Hills  

Solaris City

Solaris VII

28 April 3061 

                    The time had come for her meeting with Drake to pass him the drive. She knew Nicky was out there somewhere watching, but she felt very much alone. Things were now getting real. She was violating her NDA with her employer. She was handing over sensitive information to a possible murderer. Things could go bad in a variety of ways. She tried not to think about them.

                    True to his word and right on time, Drake appeared at the park where the two had agreed to meet. 

                    "How did the cloning go? Were you casual about it?"

                    She nodded. "Everything is cool. I got in and out without anyone spotting me. I have the drive."

                    "And I have the cash. This is good work.  It's just the beginning, but it's good work."

                    She handed the drive off to Drake, and he handed her an envelope that felt as if it was flush with cash.

                    "So what's next?"

                    Drake wiped at his nose. "It will take a few days for my guys to go over this data. It won't be until then that we'll know what the next stage is. But it's probably going to be a lot tougher, a lot more specific, you understand? Getting what we need won't be easy. But remember, keep yourself safe. Don't do anything stupid or these people will cancel your contract in a bad way if they find out. Just play it casual. We'll be in touch."